Jack, Chrissy & Janet: We Hardly Knew Ya!

Dear Readers:

Despite it being Thursday, I feel that I must blog today. I can't wait until Thursday to divulge this information to you. Sigh. My kids have hamsters. We are a pet-loving household, but said household is an apartment so we can't go all out and get dogs and cats (Long Live Luna), or birds-hmph. Over the years we've had various pets, mostly cats (Long Live Luna). We've had fish, birds, dogs, a snail...the fish were never really named or if they were I forgot...the birds were Chicken and Noodle, the one dog was Jackson and the snail was Sally Sushi. The cats (LLL) other then the fabulous Luna Letigre, were Frodo, Noche and Martini.

The kids were pet thirsty after Luna Letigre, so after much deliberation they got two hamsters...who died almost immediately. They were replaced by two others, Spring and Summer. Spring and Summer lived happily for some time until roundabouts December, we came home from a family trip and realized that Spring, was actually Mr. Spring and had the nerve to impregnate Summer! Well, the hamsters of the hay lived happily until I felt I was going nuts (with Summer & Mr. Spring, there were 12!!) Mr. Spring was a very lazy Hamster Daddy, and slept while poor Summer dealt with all the hammies. Fast forward to me finding the fuzzy remains of Mr. Spring one day. The ME report revealed that Mr. Spring was assaulted and MURDERED by the hamsters of the hay. At this point, I had to step in, the only answer was to take Summer and her murderous hammies back to the shop. The kids were supposed to pick two new hammies to continue the legacy, but of course I was bamboozled and we ended up keeping three-Jack, Chrissy and Janet. Guess who named them?

Anyhow I bookmarked a site about hamsters and was just reading through it and I learned that hamsters live 1-2 years. Do you know why? Readers, this is very important for those of you who think hamsters are "easy"...here I present you with the
LIST OF HAMSTER AILMENTS AND DISEASES!!!!

Colds!
Wet Tail
Bladder Stones
Diarrhea
Constipation
Rectal Prolapse / Prolapsed Rectum
Diabetes!!
Strokes!!!
Skin Mites
Ear Mites / Ear Mange
Cancers / Tumours!!
Cyst
Protein Deficiency - Loss of Nails
Overgrown Teeth
Glaucoma!
Sticky Eyes / Conjunctivitis
Obesity
Greasy Fur
Fur Problems
Skin Problems
Ringworm
Cuts / Bruises
Abscess
Moles
Hibernation

Is there any SURPRISE that they don't live beyond two years!!?? Am I the only person who thought that a hamsters' lifespan was simply based on them escaping and being jumped into a neighborhood rat gang, never to be seen again? Am I the only person who thought that when you found Buffy rock hard in the morning, that she simply croaked and now was your chance to campaign for a "real" pet like a dog or cat that can be played with and lives forever??

Readers, this is information you need to share. I am charging you with the responsibility to tell everyone you come in contact with. Don't believe the hype. A hamster can cause you so much pain and heartache.

You have not asked, but I know you must being dying to ask....Lola, how does one tell if a Hamster has suffered a stroke? Dear Readers, since hamsters are nocturnal they are more liable to catch a stroke at night while fooling around on that damned wheel. The next morning, the Hamster will have a head tilt.

Don't look at me like that.

You read right, a head tilt. If you can picture in your head...ok, lean your head to the right while maintaining direct eye contact with your screen. Now holding your head tilt, get up and walk over to someone and hold a conversation like nothing is going on.

Yep. You get the idea.

You get me. That's why I love you.


Lola

Yes, Virginia, when a Hamster has a cold, he sneezes.