Vacation Tuesday

Good Morning Readers. I am not going to insult your intelligence and pretend that this blog is being done on a Tuesday. The reason it is called Vacation Tuesday is because it should be Seventh Tuesday, but I was off of work and therefore did not feel the need to burn work minutes blogging. If you are me, you get it. Anyway I learned a great deal over my one week + two days off of work. I barely know where to start.

Something Great that I did at the Gym last week was actually show up. I went not once but twice! My goal was to go everyday of vacation, clearly in my world the week commences on Wednesday, because that is when I finally went. I slathered on my Cleopatria blubber blaster cream, and my blue belt and worked out, hard. Do you know what I learned? One of the most important things while working out-perhaps a mystery to me-is the appropriate underwear. As much as I hate the uniboob of the sports bra, I already know to wear that. What I'm about to tell you is a little more intimate. While I was working out (hard) on the No Joke, my intimate lower apparels started to really work my nerve. You see, Dear Readers, I was wearing a formerly great pair of panties. Super cute, boy short type..blue with red flowers. You may not need to know that, but we don't have too many secrets, do we? Anyway, these particular pantelones were purchased at Vicky's some time ago, and have since gone from "special" to "that-time-o-the-month. The only reason I wore them was because I was not going to waste a perfectly good pair of bloomers to work out. Well. We are all adults here, and we all should know that in order for panties to be downgraded to "that-time-o-the-month" wear is when they just get out of shape, the elastic is so yesterday and such. Dear Readers, I challenge you to work up a sweat in out of shape drawers. You know what? I love you too much! Don't do it. LEARN FROM ME. I didn't know what was more urgent, pulling out the wedgie or working out the sumo wrestler bleep toe. I refuse, you won't make me say it. Needless to say, those particular panties may never see the light of day again-Lord knows it took the jaws of life to dislodge them from my derriere.

Despite all of that, after the gym I felt inspired to be even healthier. I took a field trip to the Natural Foods on Pelham Pkwy. It was my first time there, it felt like the first time at Whole Foods. There was so much to see! Whooo weeee...I did not want to spend so much cash there, but by the time I walked from aisle to aisle and ran into a holistic doctor (who moonlights there, as a community service) my basket was loaded with flaxseed, kefir, nori, miso, gentle iron pills, and a food based multivitamin for women (that's me, I'm every woman!). The next day I returned to the gym, but not before stopping at Modells. I bought new weights, since my little one pounders at home made me the laughing stock of my own devices and a big plastic sweat suit. Its called a solar suit and that ish is hot, hot, hot. I've seen folk at the gym wear just the shirt, but far be it for me to miss the opportunity to march up to my adversary, the No Joke in anything less than plastic pants with a matching plastic top. Since I suffer from severe body distortion, I bought the XL suit.

Dear Reader, I need to learn how to post pictures. I wish you could have seen me in my black and red plastic suit. The crotch ended at about kneecap level. The top ended late thigh. All methods of escape are fortified with gathered stretchy ends. I was not sure what to wear under the suit, so I stuck to well fitting panties, uniboober and tshirt. Of course I slathered on the Cleopartia. What the hell was I thinking? By the time our heroine got to the damned No Joke, I was sweating. Well I worked out. The sweat was dripping off my fingers, but I worked out. I did not realize how drenched I was until upon unplasticing in the locker room, I saw that I had my own pond. Alas, the work out felt great, sweaty but great.

Meanwhile in real time, today at work, I have packed my plasticwear, Cleopatria and blue suckem' belt.

You may roll your eyes, but I feel proud. I'm tired of paying the Bally's so that they can fund more plasma tvs for novellas and sports.

There is so much more that we can talk about today, but I'm seeing now why it does not pay to blog late. I missed you. I just did not feel like using my laptop at all. I don't know, it smells of work. ick.

Other great moments in Lolaville....I had a wonderful week with my great kids and my luscious partner, Lovely. Oh that reminds me, speaking of gym and nutrition, the Most Delicious Food I Tried This Vacation was fried macaroni and cheese balls! Spare me the raised eyebrows and wrinkled forehead....they were delicious. Yes I am aware that the pasta used was not wheat, the cheese was not lite, and nothing fried is right, but damn it, if these were wrong than I don't want to be right. MMmmmmm thank you Cheesecake Factory, you made my eyes water. The entire meal down to dessert that is still in my Lovely's fridge was awesomtastic.

Oh my song is on.....and its 8:13am. I should get to work. Bore, bore, queasy...I also went to the library this vacation, maybe this Tuesday, Eighth Tuesday, we can chat about my reading list. Oh hell, I nearly forgot something else I tried....two things actually...same day. If flan was beat down by bread pudding and left at the side of the curb for dead, you would create this pureed bean dessert that I had with my Lovely's workwife J. B. I protect the innocent and the guilty with this blog. Anyway....I don't know what it was called, but that's the description we came up with. That same day, I had bibimbop. I hope I spelled it right, its bibimbop or bibambop....saladesque veggies with cold beef shreds topped with a fried egg, hot pepper sauce and mixed all together with brown rice. That's all I'm saying. It was new and yummy and will be revisited.

You get me, that's why I love you.

Lola