Eleventh Tuesday

Dear Readers,

Every now and then this blog must take a serious turn. Today is not one of those days. Hiyuck! I'm not at home and not at a time that should be leisure if you catch my drift, but I need to relax a bit before I start my real day to day. I am not implying that you are not part of my-you know I think I've had enough of apologizing to you, mind you, I first typed "apologying"....oh boy.

You ought to know, think serious, like Alanis Morrissette, you ought to know that I am under the influence of a strong painkiller. Why? Why, you ask? I'll tell ya! Yesterday I had a root canal. Yep. Hey, I mentioned this to you already, yesterday, right? Well yes, it happened. I refused to settle into the chair until the dentist gave me a full explanation of what she was going to do. She was not pleased, no one likes a talky patient. Many moons ago when I was going through a particularly restless time of my life I bit down onto a harmless piece of chicken at my sibling's home. The murdabird completely annilated my back tooth. Shattered it! Flashforward to now, I finally worked up the courage to do something about it.

Word to the Readers, if you need a root canal do it right away. I don't know what was worse, the sound of the drill, the pressure of the dental icepicker thingie or the terrible smell of pulvarized tooth. Oh boy. I feel as if I am getting lightheaded just recounting the story. The dentist did not have the best bedside manner or maybe it was because I was her "12th root". I'm not kidding, I know this because she kept mumbling about how tired she was during her "12th root", yours truly. Ain't that some ish! Anyway it sucked. You know what sucked even more? The hour long wait at my CVS for ibuprofen and amoxicillan. One hour. I was so vexed during my wait that I marched right over to the magazines and picked up a few glossies. This is a big step for me, I seldom touch the mags, because I understand that they are for sale, not for preview. This was not the case yesterday. I had to do something to distract myself from my swollen tongue, numb mouth and the stupid pharmateens giggling behind the counter. Shouldn't a pharmacist be a trusty old person that gives you a fat free sucker with tender advice? I felt like I was being waited on by the cast of Gossip Girl. On top of that some tattoo'd lady with a set of newborns comes in and everyone got really distracted. Normally I'd be happy to check out a set of newborns, but I'd just finished reading my 4th Jon & Kate article so I was less than impressed. Oooh, aaah, blah blah blah.

I don't really have the energy to go on. I'm sorry. I slept peacefully with a belly full of mashed and then some, but I'm tired. The painkillers make me move in slow motion which reminds me of the MOST AMAZING THING I saw on tv last night. We were watching CSI Miami and Horatio's Baby's Mama Julie formally Showgirl, formally the blond nerdlette from uh...not Head of the Class, uh Saved By the Bell, decided to shoot a bullet through the coroner glass. First of all Lil'Horatio was working there with CrackDoc and the Wolf, so this was a VERY bad time for a hostage situation. Anyway, Horatio was there in a hot split second, telling Julie to drop the gun. Lil Horatio was all...MOOOOOOOM. Completely mortified at his mom's behavior, trust me, Lil H, I've been there. Crazy Julia put the gun to her head and then A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS back at the set, everything went slo-mo and Horatio "The Man" simply TOOK the loaded gun away from Crazy Julia. That's it! That was the most amazing thing. No one was hurt, although I'm almost positive the cadavars were glassed up, but who's counting?

Ok. I have to go. My nottatooth filling feels gross and I wish I had a fat free sucker to sooth myself.

sigh.

You get me, that's why I love you.

Lola