Sunday, November 29, 2009

37th-39th Tuesday Thanksgiving Edition - Slightly Imperfect

Dear Readers,

Should I just address this to one Dear Reader, because I am almost positive that you are all tired of my untimely schedule. Listen (read). I don't want to write just to write. Granted I do have something to say every single day, I just tend to run out of time. I'm so sorry. How was your holiday? I cooked, but nothing spectacular, unless you consider stuffed mushrooms and/or macaroni and cheese with bacon and sauteed onions spectacular.

I miss talking to you, I swear. Even at this moment, its not the best time for a blog. We are waiting for my Lovely's parents to arrive from Florida. They are battling Thanksgiving traffic and we are just sitting. If anything I am blogging because I have all this nervous energy. I don't know....OMG THE BELL!!

I'm sorry Dear Readers, but the PARENTS are here. I have to post this because I never start a blog without posting. I have to go, so we can eat soup. There was jumping and hugging and tearing and happy family all around.

Now it feels like Thanksgiving.

You get me, that's why I love you.


Friday, November 13, 2009

36th Tuesday, Unfinished Business As Is

Dear Readers,

How are you? Good Shabbos! What you didn't know? Well now you do. I know that I was going to continue with the 35th Tuesday, since it got all heady and all, but I don't feel like it. One of the great things about a blog that I am unpaid for is that I get to blog about what I want. Now until someone starts writing me a check, it is what it is.

I'll have you know that it is the end of my workday and I have a task to complete. This is a task that I can complete at home, but I've had weeks to do it and now I am bordering on procrastinating. I'm blogging to you Dear Readers for two reason, 1)I owe you, 2)You wake up my creativity. I thank you.

Remember many blogs ago when I mentioned that I wish there was Dear Reader Mail? Well, one of my Followers is a very good friend of mine and she (along with others) who are privy to my personal email do email me when the blog so moves them to. You too, can email me, all you need to do is become a Follower of my blog and you can do all sorts of stuff. Its way cool, not as cool as IMDB, but pretty darn close. Somewhere around this page will show you how to do it, if the emails start pouring in, I know that you did the right thing. Whom amongst us would neglect to do the right thing, right Mr. Lee?

Last weekend I had a birthday dinner for my youngest sister and of course I cooked everything. The menu was very nice and actually saved by my Lovely. My overachieving self was ready to cook everything, but she reined me in. The final menu was as follows: cheesy sausage dip, mango & avocado salad, fried macaroni & cheese balls, tossed salad, lime cilantro shrimp, garlic fingerlings and slow-roasted chicken. Are your eyes still stuck on fried macaroni & cheese balls? If you are in the majority, they must be.

My Lovely suggested the balls as opposed to my regular stuffed mushrooms. Initially I was excited to make something different, especially since I thought it would be less time intensive than the mushrooms. Boy was I wrong. The full recipe can be found here: The link is not highlighting for some reason, probably there is some freaking copyright issue. Whatever man. Now if you read the recipe you will see that the recipe is actually an overnight prep. You need to make the mac & cheese, cool it in the fridge, make balls (I used a small ice cream scoop), lay them out on a tray and freeze them overnight. The next day, you egg wash, bread crumb and fry. That sounds hella easy, except for the fact that I started cooking late, so by the time the ballation was supposed to go down, I fell asleep. My Lovely was kind enough to call, waking me up and then Patterson was so kind to help me.

I can tell you that I was one pissed off baller. OMG. There is little more annoying to wake from a peaceful warm sleep to start balling up cold macaroni & cheese in the cruel lighting of my kitchen. Ohhhh I was cursing those balls out something fierce. A good cook cooks with love, I was homicidal. I don't know how no one choked on the balls the next day, I was spewing some real bad vibes all over that dish. Patterson kept me sane and even microwaved some coffee to perk me up.

When and if you make this dish, be real easy with the frying oil. Be mindful that the cheeses already have oil and if you overdo the frying oil, the balls will be too greasy. I had some leftovers, this dish was an appetizer and the average guest ate about three. I had enough leftover to fry some for a fellow cook a few days later, send her home with a ziploc bag of some frozen ones for home, AND bring some to work for my staff. I also found that the balls could just as easily be put in a bowl frozen, then microwaved for a quick meal. That's what the kids had for dinner one night, mac & cheese and spinach.

So while the prep is a bit time consuming, the final product is good enough that I would do it again.

That concludes the Cooking With Lola segment. If you try this recipe, let me know.

Naturally all this food talk reminds me that I need to carry myself to the gym. The last time I looked at the gym schedule was to push it and its magnet out of the way so that I could open the fridge for a piece of cake. I'm not kidding. That's how I do. I even highlighted the classes that I want to take, knowing damn well that I am WAY too shy and uncoordinated for a gym class. I might, MIGHT, take a class, simply to come back and blog my findings. At least its research and the embarrassment will be minimal. I hope. Stay tuned, but don't hold your breath for that madness.

Oh hell to the naw...a very close friend just texted me. She only texted me "Yooooooooooo". Clearly she has forgotten that I have a pitifully small text package on my phone and that is truly a waste. I would give her a piece of my mind right here, but I know she will never get around to reading my blogs. I won't respond to her, because that will be another text on my part and she will likely text me right back despite my plea to cut it out. I love her, but damn woman.

I really have to go. The weekend is here and I need to get the kids together to go AWAY from me so that I can help my Lovely with a few projects. I was kind of killing time, hoping to get a ride, but alas, that is not in the cards for your heroine today.

I have to make moves. You get way more attention than my personal blog. I love her, and I want to write, but I keep her in my by the time I'm pulling her out for some real therapeutic writing, I'm dozing off-or not...insert eyebrow wagging here. I need to keep her in a more active area-like at work! IMDB and you don't keep me busy enough on the clock.

You get me, that's why I love you.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Real 35th Tuesday/Julie Newmar & Unfinished Projects

Good Morning Readers,

I did not go to the gym last night. Nope. An opportunity knocked and I answered. Ok? I know you don't judge me and if you do, I'd never know since Dear Reader Mail has never taken off.

Like everyone else in the world I have a Yahoo account. The standard signature on all of my outgoing mail is a quote from a movie, television show or song. I don't know how long I've done the quotes, but in the beginning I would change it frequently so that the recipient of the email would have a little bonus at the end. This is just that type of person I am. heh. Anyhow, I wanted to change my quote today to something from the Swayze movie when he plays Vida, the drag queen. You've probably seen the movie, To Wong Foo With Love, Julie Newmar.

I find all my movie quotes at Internet Movie Database ( I'm not on their payroll, but I strongly suggest you check it out. Just please check it out at home, because if you check while at work, you will NOT GET A THING DONE. After I found my quote, I read through some of the trivia regarding the movie, which led me to look up the actress Julie Newmar. Two of her quotes, caused me to look up her fan site:

I'm magnificent! I'm 5'11" and I weigh 135 pounds, and I look like a racehorse.

Tell me I'm beautiful, it's nothing. Tell me I'm intellectual - I know it. Tell me I'm funny and it's the greatest compliment in the world anyone could give me.

Alright. Dear Readers, Julie Newmar if you don't know (I didn't) was the Catwoman in 1966's Batman. Oh hell..she was fine then and she is fine now. She is in her 70's now and I would gladly trade my curves for hers. Now, don't get me wrong-I have no desire to look like a racehorse, but I'm just saying. I'm nearly 5'11" and at my smallest (yes smallest)my fighting weight (I love that expression) was 158lbs. At 158lbs I looked like I was one missed breakfast from a praying mantis. Everyone has their own personal Julie Newmar, by my definition your own personal Julie Newmar is where you reach that KA-POW status.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a brick house, its just that some of my rooms are too packed with furniture, and I'm not as svelte as I'd like to be. My personal Julie Newmar is 165lbs. That's where I want to be.

As far as her second quote, I feel the same way. I've come a long way from my ugly duckling status. I've always been intelligent. I love being funny. I love that I crack myself up. I love that I don't need anyone to laugh for me to feel good. I don't try to be funny, but I am. A guy on Facebook whom I know from school said that the hardest thing about being the "funny guy" is that people are always waiting for the punchline. Those are not his exact words, but I don't really care because I have better chance of Ellen reading this to Portia as she twitters it, than that random guy from school seeing it.

That reminds me, my daughter McKinley was shocked that there are other celebrity lesbian actresses besides Helen (Ellen) and her famous girlfriend. Am I being lax as a lesbian mom? Maybe I should give her a list of prominent gays in America. I know I was pressured when McKinley and Patterson were young to educate them on prominent Blacks and Latinos. Did I say too much? Listen, my way of educating McKinley was to make sure all of her dolls looked like her. I also tried to push That's So Raven on her instead of Hannah Montana. As far as Patterson, one afternoon in the employee cafe I was showing off pictures of him and someone asked me how I planned on raising my Black son to be a Black man. Wot? Does this story need to be punctuate by the fact that the woman who asked is a Black woman who was always angry about something? She was the Angry Black Girl character from all the Real World shows. I asked her what she meant and she told me that since I can "pass", what was I going to teach him about his color?

Dear Readers, I am charged with raising children of Black and Latino descent on my own as a Black Latino you know how much that is, a real mouthful. Don't get me wrong, my story is no longer, nor more important than anyone else's, but its mine-therefore important to me, at least.

I do the best that I can. As a woman, I have to teach my daughter to be a strong woman and teach my son to be a strong man. Both have to have some sort of cultural influence...I'm not big on organized religion so I can be easy on that. I know that there will never be a picture of the Last Supper in my home..not the blond blue-eyed version, nor the wooly-haired version. What am I supposed to do? Hang a picture of Martin Luther King next to Ellen Degeneres next to Edwin Torres? Should I have flash cards? OMG..the thought of it is overwhelming, even more overwhelming is that this blog was supposed to be lighthearted and about a pin-up queen and now LOOK. Gosh.

I wear myself out. I wonder how you, Dear Readers, positively influence your children. I bought my son a Cabbage Patch Doll and everyone in my family was mortified. I thought it was a great gift. When my daughter was about 3, she was looking at pictures of herself in the presence of my sister. McKinley was pointing out how pretty she looked in a picture and said that she looked so pretty, just like a lesbian. I'm surprised my sister did not stuff her in a duffel and run away with her.

Ugh. There is responsibility calling...I don't feel right ending this blog like this. I hate that I start projects and never end them..although hating it does not prevent me from repeating the behavior.

That being said, this blog will be considered unfinished business until it comes up again.

You get me, that's why I love you.


Monday, November 2, 2009

Thirty-Fifth Tuesday/Its Only Monday, People

Hello Readers,

You must think I have loads of time on my hands. I actually don't..contrary to popular belief I have a job. I swear.

Before I get into the reason for this blog, as if we need a I am going to the gym. Really. I swear. I packed my clothes and everything. I really have to get on my grind...or someone's grind. I woke up this morning with a new resolve...really. Is it foolhardy to make a fitness resolve on the first Monday after Halloween, a mere four weeks before Thanksgiving? Yes it is. Am I that type of rebel? Yes I am. As I sit here still sucking bits of snickers from my back teeth, I swear. I'm psyched. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. Tomorrow, if I feel up to it after I PUMP MYSELF UP, I will fill you in on the Five People I Met In The Gym.

Yesterday, my Lovely asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I didn't have an answer for her. At the time, I didn't think it was a big deal, I figured I would just think about it. During my thinking time, this morning between 6:05 and 6:17, I realized what a travesty this really is. Do you know why, Dear Readers, I cannot decide what I want for Christmas?

First of all, the biggest culprit of them all: PARENTHOOD. Yes, I said it. As a parent, when asked what I want for Christmas, I first think of what my children want, then onto what they need...sometime at the end of this mind debilitating process, I think about what I need, which ties into nicely what they need. Here is an example..hmm the kids could use a new dictionary, I could use a Barnes & Noble gift card...see?! Isn't that some ish? Are my senses dulled so much that I can barely see what I might want/need without the seeing the world through the thick, heavy, black-rimmed glasses of PARENTHOOD?

Second of all, and this is the small culprit: I'm not used to getting what I ask for as opposed to what I get. My Lovely loves lists, so here is a list...the first column is what I asked for, the next is what I got...I'm not going to bore you with the ages, I don't remember anyway.

1. GEM doll (Gem, Gem is my Name).......Roxy
2. A flute.....................a plastic recorder
3. An Etch A Sketch.............a Lite Bright
4. An Easy Bake Oven.............PlayDoh Spaghetti Head
5. Ms. Pacman Game...............Mr. Potato Head Doll
6. A leather jacket.............a blue husky coat from Fingerhut
7. Reeboks....................Ellese

I'm sure that there is more, but those are the items that really stood out to me over the years. The Roxy doll was the most disappointing. Even the blue husky coat from Fingerhut had big enough husky pockets for me to carry a book, furthering my Nerddom.

Here is the tear jerker portion of our time together today, what I really want for Christmas is a hug from my grandmother. Of course she is long gone, all of my grandparents are gone. I miss them terribly. Sometimes I feel panicked that I am forgetting her voice or her touch, but usually I am blessed enough to dream of her. Dear Readers, we are going to let this part of the blog go before I start weeping all over my keyboard, not a pretty sight.


Ok. I have a lot of wants, but I know that I need to separate my wants from my needs. I don't really want world peace, I'm not sacrificing enough to wish for such a grand thing. Can I say sacrificing or do I say sacrificial? Hmm. World peace would be nice and leave something good for my kids and my grandkids, I again worrying about WHAT THEY NEED/WANT? See what I mean? Sucks to be me. I still have a bit of a weep in the back of mind because now I am fixated on my grandma. Crap. This is no way to brainstorm gifts.

Here is my list of selfish all about me forget the rest of the world gifts:
1. Cowboy boots (no spurs necessary)
2. Super cool phone because I'm tired of having the same phone as the 5th graders because OMG its so cool, you can change the color by clicking off the cover, my fave is the red, what's yours, Miss?
3. Spa pedicure the one that they use things I would never waste like buttermilk, sugar and no less than two people working on my feet and one extra to pass me a appletini.
4. An amazing everyday bangle, almost museum like that I would never buy for myself, but totally care for if it were a gift because I would be terrified to lose it.
5. Liposuction (its my list).
6. Roller blades with lessons, or maybe the lessons first so that they don't end up under my bed with the hula hoop.
7. Free Cablevision (see parenthesis #5).
8. A new digital camera, since mine is so yesterday.
9. The Catcher in the Rye, for the "keep" side of my bookshelf.
10. Sephora gift card, so that I can let go of all those empties in my closet.

Whew. Readers, I really had to squeeze out the last two on my list. Thank you for helping me with the process. I appreciate you, Dear Readers, I really do. To my Lovely's credit, she made me cry last year by giving me the Complete Peanuts Holiday Collection of DVDs. I don't know how she can top that. Please no one try to rouse Ms. Katherine Mendez from the DDD (Dearly Departed Department) because as much as I love my grandma, there's no need for any Stephan King up in here. I will be SO PISSED IF THERE IS A ZOMBIE GRANDMA at the table this year. I'm not kidding. Don't do me any favors. She was not happy about my lesbianism then, I doubt the afterlife has given her a better prospective.

Speaking of lesbianism and the dead, Bea Arthur left $300,000 in her will to a New York organization that aids homeless gay youth.

The Ali Fornay Center provides services to more than 1,000 each year, and is planning to buy a building to house 12 young people - and name it in honor of the "Golden Girls" actress.

Read more:

I think that's just lovely.

That's a beautiful thing and makes me want to watch The Golden Girls all over again, which could happen with #7 on my list. Please don't go out and buy me any seasons of The Golden Girls on DVD-I will not watch them enough and I am not long in the tooth enough to own that series. If you plan on getting me The Golden Girls, you might as well throw in the first season of The Price Is Right, if there is such a series. Just put the frosting, lock and key on my seniorism.

You get me, that's why I love you,