Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Like If You Plunge

Dear Readers:

I was not going to write tonight, as I have sustained an injury. For the past 21 minutes I have been futilely trying to unclog the toilet. My poor blogging hands are calloused and I speak to you tonight in pain. Yeah.

Here is the thing...I had a conversation with a friend recently and she groused about how the ONLY time she ever had to unclog her toilet is when children were in her home. At the time, I thought the conversation to be funny, but now....

I am disgusted to agree. The only damn time I touch that plunger is when the CHILDREN (mine and yours) clog the toilet. I don't know why or how. I just don't get it. I do really think that if I were childless, I would not even need a plunger.

With that being said, here is a list of things that I would not need if I were childless, in no particular order:

1. Locks on the doors
2. Ice Tea Mix
3. Pink Toothpaste with sparkly things
4. Two cable boxes
5. Peroxide
6. Excedrin Tension Headache
7. Hiding places for my "stuff"
8. PC passwords
9. A two bedroom apartment (that I freaking pay for and clean)
10. Pajamas

I did not add in the plunger, because we already touched on that. I kind of got stuck around #8, to the point that I was looking around for inspiration. As I look at that list, it is accurate. I'm sure that I can add more, but do we really want to depress me more.

Parenting is exhausting and I love my WondaKids anyway. Parenting in not for everyone. I can't say what one would need to be a great parent, but you sure as hell better know how to handle a plunger.

It's late, my hands are calloused and THE FREAKING TOILET is still clogged. I'm tired so freak it. It will be the last toilet that I unclog this year. Maybe I should keep a log.

Yawn. I had more to say today, but that incident really pissed me off, pun intended.

You get me, that's why I love you.

Lola

Friday, December 17, 2010

Friday Night Blog aka Preemptive Strike!

"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born."

~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Ho ho there Dear Readers!

You didn't expect me to open up a blog with a quote, did you? You clearly don't recognize how deep I am. Lol! A very, very, very, great, beautiful brown friend of mine shared her favorite book with me, The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. That opening quote is from Antoine, or as I like to call him, Tone. Tone has a very interesting story and I'd urge you to read all about him, but what you really should read is The Little Prince.

It is a children's tale, but I feel that is a children's tale for adults who need to be reminded of what life really is all about. I feel like I should open up a tab and just start swiping quotes from the book. The quote above is not from The Little Prince, by the way.

My friend was so kind to share the book with me, as she felt that I needed it. She was right. She is really that deep. Though I think she would have been fine with me keeping the book, I gave it back....for another dear friend who may need it.

I almost think that it should be required reading for adulthood. Oh wait...two facebook notifications...be right back....ahhhhh technology.....now that was funny. By the time I clicked over, there were four; two from friends and two from Henrietta Hudson's. Apparently the event that I will probably attend next week has had a name change, as if I committed the name of the event to memory.

Back to The Little Prince. I say that I do this for you, but I'm doing it for me, assuming that it will do great things for you. I am going to open a tab and snatch some quotes. How's that? A little different twist, I mean...this is a Friday blog. You don't know the next time you will get this opportunity, to hear from me on a Friday. I had plans this evening, but my dique chest cold preempted everything.

"Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them."

How great is that? As adults we seem to think that we are the end all. If we don't know something, another adult will. Kids can explain anything. If I held true today at least half the stuff I believed as a 4th grader, I'd be better off.

"I should never have listened to her," he confided to me one day, "One should never listen to the flowers. One should simply look at them and breathe their fragrance."

Now...check that out. Stop and smell the roses...BUT don't pick them! Ok, this quote is about more than flowers. The gist is, you can enjoy something without needing to make it yours or decide that everything that comes from it is gospel. Especially if you are down with OPP. LMAO LMFAO...what an adult thought. Erase, erase, erase. I could not resist, sorry.

"Language is the source of misunderstandings."

Say word. The words that you use, along with the way you express them can mean so much. The ish is, you cannot expect everyone to get your meaning as well as you do. What does that mean..shut up. No...think, think long and hard before you speak and if something can be demonstrated without the weight of language, than let that demonstration be your voice. Check me out...this flu virus is really working me.

"You're beautiful, but you're empty.... No one could die for you."

Ok. That one really makes me think. I wondered if someone would say that about me, or if I've ever known anyone to say it to. I honestly do not believe that anyone would die for me. I am speaking figuravitily of course. I don't see anyone really sacrificing for me. I don't know how to feel about that. I think that takes a lot of stress off of me. If no one is willing for me, then I don't have to be concerned with returning the favor.

"What makes the desert beautiful," says the little prince, "is that somewhere it hides a well."

Sigh. Words are not necessary..just read and sigh....there is hope everywhere.

There are more amazing quotes, but I really urge you to read the book for yourself. So that I don't have to feel some kind of way by copying all the quotes, I'll do the late great Tone a favor....

Amazon.com has The Little Prince in stock for $7.98. I'd order one right now, but I'll be at B&N tomorrow and pick up my own copy.

I'd like to close this post by welcoming two new Dear Readers...you know who you are, I'm glad that you've come.

You get me, that's why I love you.


Lola

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

It's Tuesday

Hello Dear Readers:

Crickets? I don't even know. You guys HAVE NO CLUE, or maybe some of you do, as to what I have been going through. I didn't even take a second to read the last blog, so I don't know what I said. Though all my blogs count, I am so sure that my life is changing so fast...you ought to just follow from this point on.

There is going to be an unveiling of a whole new Lola. The way I feel lately, I might just start using my government name. I hardly know who I am. That's not why you are here though. How are you? How are the holidays treating you?

I'm not involved with holidays this year. To be perfectly honest, I'm really to busy with work, school and life in general to be bothered with holidays.

The greatest thing about the holidays is that they resurface once a year. It makes me feel good that I have next year to get all mushy and ish. Right now...freak that crap.

It's been so long since we have spoken. I feel like I should just share my FB with you as that is where I post all the happenings. I'm sorry about that. Its just that my FB is so handy. To blog to you, I have to go through a whole process. And...FB is great because folk reach out to me in response. I am not as an attention whore as I used to be, but I still do enjoy a little credit.

Recently someone posted something on FB that sounded like one of my words. I don't remember what the word was, but I was concerned...so I FB'd the someone and bluntly asked if they were using my words. What kind of answer do you think that I got? Yes, those were your words, you are the most high in the sky like the stars, crystal gel....? No. Instead, I got a compliment (?) I guess, because the person said that my way of expressing myself was so interesting. Uh yeah. Wait one sec...lemme see brb....ok. That didn't work. I went to FB because I was going to cut and paste the comments here. Apparently, that is not ok with the powers that be.

See, that's kind of sucky because now you miss out when the guy on the bus sat on me. You just can't tell that type of story more than a few times.

Did I tell you that I'm teaching high school? I had too, I'm almost sure, because that was one of my lame ass excuses for not blogging. Trust me, that is not a lame ass excuse. I have a whole pile of papers that I am ignoring, knowing DAMN well that I should be grading.

I just don't feel like doing anything but this. I feel so good when I blog. This could be my utopia. I have greater plans for utopia, well at least I did. My plans didn't exactly go as planned. I guess that doesn't make them plans.

Moving right along. So....what do you want for Christmas? I need red pens. I need red pens, because maybe that will inspire me to grade these dang papers. I wish my students would just email me their work. I would be so much better at grading.

I'm watching 16 & Pregnant, rather it is watching me. After a few episodes, all these stories sound alike. I don't know why I bother. It is freezing in here and I am too lazy to go get my hoodie.

Won't you come on by and get my hoodie out of the closet? I don't have anyone to do coolio things like that for me. Life is good when you have someone that can run into the kitchen and make you tea, life is fabulous when you have someone to bring you your hoodie from the closet.

I wish I had that.

I wish I had loads of things...but if someone truly wanted to get me what I wanted for Christmas, I'd like someone who would love me enough to get my hoodie from the closet, bonus points if they could rub Vicks on my chest without making a face.

That is love.

This is enough as I have not touched any important subjects..this was like a slam blog. I'm sorry it lacks direction, but its late, I'm tired, congested and cold and this silly heifer on 16 & Pregnant is mad because Blake has not been home and Nathan is intense.

W/h/a/t/e/v/e/r.

I love you for reading, (<---is that even my sign off? I don't recall)

Lola

WAIT!

You get me, that's why I love you!

Lola!!