Dear Readers:
I was not going to write tonight, as I have sustained an injury. For the past 21 minutes I have been futilely trying to unclog the toilet. My poor blogging hands are calloused and I speak to you tonight in pain. Yeah.
Here is the thing...I had a conversation with a friend recently and she groused about how the ONLY time she ever had to unclog her toilet is when children were in her home. At the time, I thought the conversation to be funny, but now....
I am disgusted to agree. The only damn time I touch that plunger is when the CHILDREN (mine and yours) clog the toilet. I don't know why or how. I just don't get it. I do really think that if I were childless, I would not even need a plunger.
With that being said, here is a list of things that I would not need if I were childless, in no particular order:
1. Locks on the doors
2. Ice Tea Mix
3. Pink Toothpaste with sparkly things
4. Two cable boxes
5. Peroxide
6. Excedrin Tension Headache
7. Hiding places for my "stuff"
8. PC passwords
9. A two bedroom apartment (that I freaking pay for and clean)
10. Pajamas
I did not add in the plunger, because we already touched on that. I kind of got stuck around #8, to the point that I was looking around for inspiration. As I look at that list, it is accurate. I'm sure that I can add more, but do we really want to depress me more.
Parenting is exhausting and I love my WondaKids anyway. Parenting in not for everyone. I can't say what one would need to be a great parent, but you sure as hell better know how to handle a plunger.
It's late, my hands are calloused and THE FREAKING TOILET is still clogged. I'm tired so freak it. It will be the last toilet that I unclog this year. Maybe I should keep a log.
Yawn. I had more to say today, but that incident really pissed me off, pun intended.
You get me, that's why I love you.
Lola
They clog toilets, use the last of the tissue and don't tell you and leave wet floors for unsuspecting mothers to slip and fall on. Wait till they're teenagers. Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteThey clog the toilets... all 3 of them, they use the last of the tissue and don't tell you until you're poised to unroll and wipe and they leave water on white floors in bathrooms for unsuspecting moms to slip and fall on. Yep. That's what they do.
ReplyDeleteI love that they wait until they are WELL into their business to tell me that they need paper. Paper that I keep right in the hall closet, a REACH from the bathroom. Then the next time I go the bathroom, the "new" roll is everywhere but on it's little rod. What's on the rod?? The cardboard corpse of the old one. Points if the "new" roll is camped out in a puddle on the sink.
ReplyDeleteSo you would think, hey, she is 17, by now she has nearly two decades of early flush/ conservative TP experience under her belt. BUT no, this weekend, I hear another little one in the bathroom incessantly flushing with no accompanying gurgle. What the hell? I have *never* clogged the damn toilet. It is like just being little people makes them clog it.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, howinthehellisallthehotwatergone! How dirty is your one 17 year old anus?
WORSE: i know what is around teh corner-> breaking that little dangling rod from the stopper so that every time i wanna flush i gotta lift the top of the toilet like i am in the 1810s
TRICK IS: kick them out. Make them poo at starbucks where the industrial toilets are. That'll teach 'em
I aint playin!
In case anyone was wondering, there was an apple core in the toilet. Yep.
ReplyDelete