Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Sixth Tuesday

Readers, I think I am becoming an asshole.  Wait, give me a second to explain...it's a hard thought for me to wrap my mind and soul around but quite possibly something is going rotten in Denmark and its not cool.  Do you ever notice that the things that used to make you take a second look suddenly make you roll your eyes and suck your teeth?  

I used to (or still am) be a bleeding heart. Man, my heart bled for everybody.  I managed to care about everyone and everything.  Ironically enough, I always bragged about not caring what others thought of me, but perhaps in reality I was overly concerned what people thought and therefore manifested this persona that cares about everyone and everything.  Reader, don't judge me, this is my forum, I can ramble as much as I want.  

Alright, you need more, I know you well.  I will give you today's scenario.  Today on the bus, after nearly being mangled by middle-schoolers I was able to get a seat.  I rearranged all my ish because a sister like me is hardly ready or organized for anything.  Getting comfy meant shifting my hips, moving my bag, digging my ipod for the earbuds so that I can listen to Wendy Williams, putting my umbrella under my seat, becoming overly concerned that someone will steal it-and hooking it on the seat in front of me, causing it to tangle up in my freed yet caught earbuds..I can go on but I will spare you.  

Anyhow after this big event, here boards a woman carrying a baby, a stroller and two little ones trailing behind.   Readers, I really wanted to give her my seat, but even more than that I wanted someone else to give up their seat.  I wanted one of those loud ass middle-schoolers to give up their seat.  Anyway....I really tried not to make eye contact with her or her stylishly dressed snot nosed kiddies.  I told you I'm becoming an asshole.  

Sidebar: I knew something was up a long time ago-I used to think all babies and kids were adorable until I had my own, now I actually look at other kids with a screwface...I can honestly (to myself of course) admit that some kids are actually not adorable.  Someone offered the woman a seat and she gave it to the two little ones to split.  Ok...major asshole spoiler.  She gave up her chance for a seat.  There is no reason why 1 & 2 could not have stood and let Mama & 3 have the seat.  I'm serious.  I don't know what circumstances caused her to have three kids-two damn near the same age.  I don't see why she should be given two seats for her family-she only paid for one.  

This whole ordeal made me think of Parents on the Bus and now I have set standards to follow.  I'm not one to follow standards, really, but they can be entertaining to come up with.  Here we go:

Pregnant woman........if she is noticeably pregnant and not just overweight, I will definitely give my seat.  Hell I will go out of my way to get her attention and give her the seat.  I remember those days.

Pregnant woman carrying a child......once again, noticeably pregnant counts for something, however, how in the hell are you pregnant and carrying one?  Did you not learn the first time?  Ok, she can have my seat, but only if she catches my eye...if I can ignore her I will.

Pregnant woman carrying a child with one + kids trailing her....hell no ma'am, keep it moving. No one told you to populate the US with your kids.  You won't be getting my seat today.  What are you doing out at this hour of the day with all those kids in the first place?  What job do you hold, what paying job entitles you to prance around with your kids...all wearing better clothes than me?  Hell to the naw.  Save money and get some exercise....hit the streets and walk your parade like a parade should walk.  

I'm sorry I kept using a pregnant woman as an example, the same goes for the "not" pregnant.  These rules apply to men too, don't think that I will be impressed because you are with your children on the bus.  You are no more special than the mother struggling to keep her kids all lined up in a roll, like ducks.  I've been on the bus in the morning more than a few times with a dad and his baby...the woman passengers on the bus--their eyes shine with unshed tears when they see him.  What's the big deal?  How sexist for you to think that because he is a man with a baby, that means he is in the minority and for that reason coo-able like a rare breed of schnauzer?  

The handicapped always get my seat, same for the elderly.  I feel like a seat actually helps them and the other passengers on the bus.  Somebody in the opinion area of the Daily News wrote in something really jacked up about wheelchair passengers.   While I can admit that I have never secretly applauded in the morning when a wheelchair passenger rolled onto the bus, I know well enough to sympathize their plight, while still respecting that they have a right to a ride just like the rest of us.

Readers, this may be my worst blog ever.  I'm sleepy and its late and I have to get to sleep.  I promise something upbeat and grrrrrrfree next week.  Tomorrow is my last day before Spring Break and I am uber excited to have time away from the office.  I will be back on my game next week.  I promise!!

You get me, that's why I love you.


Lola

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